The very last of the FUTA cartoons, reloaded here for posterity and ego boosting. Definitly not the funniest FUTA cartoon but it is the only one using the updated graphics.

FUTA was to Reaction Quake 3 what the Sex Pistols were to the Rock’n Roll industry a bunch of terrorizing pirates and swindlers made of Solse, Golgo 13, Load3r, Uberbr00m and your humble host NoSympathy. We spend days procrastinating on some Enter The Game IRC channels and forged bizzare friendships that still last to this day.

Fishing stars on the edge of the galaxy, legs balancing in the lightless void, staring at the multicoloured sea of cloudy Nebula. Far away silky Giants chasing each others, teasing and embracing. A perpetual race without finish line, no one will ever live to see the smile on the winner’s face or wipe the tears from the losers eyes. Ageless super clusters of water coloured cotton candy inhabited by thousands billions thoughts and dreams spiralling, sewn together as one unique canvas. One voice echoing into infinity as a tapestry of wonders.

I stopped and listened to the murmurs for what seemed like millions of years. A vibrant but delicate broadcast of desires. Hope created by life itself for its own pleasure and pain. The very fabric of life was resonating around me as a perfect picture of its tragic beauty. So fragile, clueless and finite but so powerful in the end. Life and death, symbiosis of space and time still devoid of any meaning and logic. I pondered the seeds essence like a hopeless alchemist searching the philosopher’s stone in Descartes pocket. What the fuck am I doing here? The mind fooled itself in speculative daydreaming. As a phosphorous spaceship passed by I casted my interstellar bamboo pole in the multi-verse and slipped. Cut my wrist on sharp coral, the blood ran free as the carbonate shell ripped deep through the delicate flesh. No gravity.

A gentle sensation of sedation slowly took over my mind, insidious, vaporous infiltrator I could not fight. Gracious femme fatale passing through the nonchalant crowd, looking deep into my eyes, blowing a kiss in stop motion, blowing my soul in the abyss. l felt Ariadne’s thread slipping from my hand. Slipping away in the darkness, I screamed without a sound, I screamed but heard nothing. No noise. Petrified, nailed with the fear of realization hitting me like an asteroid. When there is no reflection, no ripples and no lights are we still real? Do we exist in solitude?

Left shivering in the galactic cold the eyes felt numb and heavy. A shooting star slowed down as some of my blood got sucked into a black hole. I felt tremors from beyond, laying in the dark. My heart beat became indistinct, slowly vanishing. I closed my eyes. Somewhere on the fringe of the universe, I could tell the Big Crunch was happening.

Misty morning came as an aggression, a sad bastard with a beard wearing an dense gray hat, ice dagger in hand. The deceiver as come. Knocking, hammering my oniric refuge, smashing it down to dust, stabbing repeatedly like a madman. Motherfucker. Clockwork city was immobile, vessels of flesh and metal stuck in it’s concrete veins, somewhere in the steel jungle a gear must have broke, gone insane. Insanity is common occurrence when you live in a Tarantula.

I looked around, slow motion on black and white television projected in the infinity of time and space. Repeater. Echoing endlessly from the far end of the universe. An unshaved old man in the rear mirror. Timeless prophet passing by riding a tricycle with leather wings, clamming impending doom. A living scripture from the Apocalypse - The End of the World is near. Calamities are upon us, don’t you bloody bastards see anything? No one was listening, no one was paying attention. No one ever wonder anymore in Clockwork city, the Spider does not allow such subversive things as questioning the established order. Why are you preaching in the desert old man? What is your purpose? Screaming at a wall aren’t you? Desert city, devoid of soul on this bleak day, we are all fools my friend.

My mind started to drift. I got scared. I wanted to run, go for the warmth, shelter myself in a orange box with red wine and cigarettes. Wait for the sun to come back to Memphis… Eat the kingdom and chase the Tarantula. Old man, what if you were just wrong? But he did not wait for me to ask, he was gone already. A child has replaced him, small yellow silhouette dancing in the rain. Fragile girl with rubber boots and a strawberry smile. Her eyes were bright, of the stargazer type, radiating the seven wonders of the world. She looked at me, blinded me for a second. Stun, completely annihilated, disarmed and naked. My skin was peeling from the nuclear blast. Old man, what if you were just fucking wrong? Old man the wild child thinks you are just fucking wrong.

Dark laboratory, hidden in the basement, soiled needles, wrong experiement, mutants and Outer Space. Doc Terror will seize, create, destroy, create, destroy. Terrorize. Terrorized humans await in the basement.

I was out of inspiration for 7 months. The corporate beasts, purvoyers of death, preachers of misery and vampires of the world will be brought down or if not we must die.

[16:29:52] [Robboy]: asahole
[16:30:17] [Robboy]: Monk something on your mind?
[16:30:50] [Monk]: You know the other channels right?
[16:31:02] [Monk]: You totally know you get more info idling there than here!
[16:31:12] [Monk]: Like answers to questions and stuff.
[16:45:47] [Robboy]: yep

This blog could definitely use some updates, unfortunately I am really with that never ending grind called work, and the more generic infection they say goes by the name of ‘real-life’. I am just going to post real quick the logo I did for my World of Warcraft guild, a Photoshop contest which could give you virtual gold. I ended up winning the contest. I was pretty happy the way it turned, it could use some more tweaking but in the end I think the effect was great. Anyways here it is.

An excerpt on existentialism:

With complete freedom to decide and being responsible for the outcome of said decisions comes anxiety–or angst–about the choices made.

Anxiety’s importance in existentialism makes it a popular topic in psychotherapy. Therapists often use existential philosophy to explain the patient’s anxiety. Psychotherapists using an existential approach believe that the patient can harness his or her anxiety and use it constructively. Instead of suppressing anxiety, patients are advised to use it as grounds for change.

By embracing anxiety as inevitable, a person can use it to achieve his or her full potential in life.

According to a report from the University of Swansea’s School of the Environment and Society Greenland glaciers have begun to flow and break up more quickly due to global warming. In fact the Kangerdlugssuaq (wtf?!) and Helheim glaciers had doubled their rate of flow to the ocean over the past two years after steady movement during the 1990s.

“The report followed a warning earlier this week from Britain’s Hadley Center for Climate Prediction and Research — a branch of the Meteorological Office — that the Greenland ice sheet could be disappearing faster than previously thought.

Scientists predict that global average temperatures will rise by between one and six degrees Celsius this century unless urgent action is taken now to cap and reduce carbon emissions.

Scientists said on Monday the world had to halt greenhouse gas emissions and reverse them within two decades or watch the planet spiraling towards destruction.”

Once called alarmists, lunatics or just plain delusional alfalfa smoking hippies, scientists who defended the global warming theory in the early 80’s seams to gain more attention lately and with good reason. These are the people who tried to warn us that a greenhouse effect was happening 20 years ago while everyone was too busy living it ‘to the max’ and snorting cocaine to listen. The international community basically laughed at them and told them to go fuck some goat cheese. Now that scientific reports and facts from all over the world leave no doubts that good old planet Earth temperature is on the rise, the same guys are telling us that if no radical action to cut down on greenhouse gas emission is taken we will face a point of no return in 15 to 20 years. I don’t know about you but for fucking humanity sake maybe, just maybe, we should listen to them this time or WE could be fucking goat cheese sooner than expected.

As of February 2006 the United States, the world’s biggest polluter, still reject both the Kyoto protocol in its current form and any suggestion of expanding or extending it.

More about global warming on Wikipedia here.
Climate change predictions by the Hadley Center here.

The first Igloolounge.net submission for Threadless.com, based on the Oh Noes! illustration I did for my girlfriend posted a while back here. Send me some love people, show your support to the Igloolounge.net and go vote for the shirt

Posted on the Igloolounge for posterity in remembrance of the old Futa days, because Load3r was and will always be the master of the infamous bed jump stunt. Many attempted to copy the style (that pussy, 50 Cent comes to mind) but in the end they all failed miserably because they just fucking suck. Like Christopher Lambert, there can be only one, Bedjumper!

Load3r is missing since April 2005. He was last seen playing World of Warcraft on the Sargeras server with a gay Night Elf warrior character that goes by the name Cutdown. He was last seen wearing a Field Plate Armor of the Gorilla, a pair of Obsidian Greaves and a funny hat while flipping pancakes near Scholomance. He his known for riding a chalupa, leaving runes on the ground and not using Shield Bash.

If you have any information regarding Load3r/Cutdown/Kenneth (what’s the mother fucking frequency?), or know of his whereabouts, please give him a solid kick in the balls and tell him his Futa bitches miss him.

I am wondering if I am the only mental sucker that is inhabited by a strange dark force that makes me look through forgotten ATM receipts and check stranger’s balance just for kick. I can’t help myself, I walk up to an ATM and they are just everywhere. Either on top of the machine itself or on the counter where people put their bags and always forget their keys or cellphones like retards because they are “always in such a hurry”. Anyway, as I wait for my transaction to be processed, the small discarded crinkled pieces of paper seems to look me in the eyes and start screaming in unison like the little green Martians from Toy Story “Choose me! Choose me! Choose Me!”

It always feels good, in a Saudi Arabia Petroleum Mogul kind of way good, to know that some loser only had $23.64 remaining in his account. My pissing purchase power so fucking PNW YOU NUB! On the flip side it’s always a near heart attack aneurysm terminal balls cancer experience to discover that some bastard got 26.000.00 fucking dollars available to spend over the weekend. How can you just hold on this insane amount of money in your checking account and not spend it already? What the fuck is wrong with you Scrooge? Get a fucking life already, hell buy one for fuck sakes. Go out, travel, drink up chicks like martinis and live grand, make it happen dickhead. Come on, if I had that amount of money it would not be hard for me to find a better way to entertain myself than withdrawing 20 bucks in a less than stellar area of the city at 23:46 on a Friday night. Believe me I’ll pack that yatch and fuck it.

It’s beyond my comprehension that some people spend, how ironic, their life amassing tons and tons of money and this is probably why I will always stay a dead broke pisshead. Time is money; well fuck me… I’m always late.

Halloween is just around the corner, time to take out the chainsaw and start carving pumpkins again, everyone can be an artist like they are Bruce Campbell on crystal meth. Joy. You know, the night of the dead always held a special place in my heart. I am still unsure if it’s because I have a twisted relationship with dead and spooky things or just good old mental problems. Call me a damn zombie lover if you want, but I think the Corpse Bride is cute and I told my girlfriend that the Forsaken girls in World of Warcraft are the sexy, she though I was kidding. I can’t really blame her. When someone tells you that throat slashed, stomach gutted, rotting girls with half boobs and only speculation as to what hides under these decomposed panties are hot stuff, it’s hard to believe they are dead serious.

Some people will have a party this Friday or Saturday you know one of these typical “Hey man! Your passed out in front lawn vomit choked dick hanging out of pants piss on yourself costume looks fucking real dude!1!!”, will be out trick or threatening old hags for razor packed goodies or doing some happy shower stalking for free PG13 scene where boobs wiggle and girl scream and more boobs wiggle. The options seem endless, the fun as cruel and dumb as it should, like poking someone in the eye with a plastic straw just for kicks.

Of course Halloween comes with its fair share of retards and morons. A girl at work was juggling with the idea of buying a Darth Vader costume for her dog. Now how just wrong is that? It is perverted shit at best. I mean come on you stupid! Vader as a dog this is probably the lamest thing I’ve ever heard since Steve Carell said “There is a party in my pants” . It is just stating the obvious that animals can’t use the Force and they don’t give a fuck about it. Ever wonder why there’s no Wookie Jedi, no Ewok Jedi? It’s because animals are idiots lazy motherfuckers that just sleep all day, have food and shelter handed to them for free over the sole fact that they act cute, chew on computer wiring and piss all over the place rather than work their ass and do something useful once in a while. It only leaves me wonder how a dog bark sounds in a scuba suit, let alone how would they wield a lightsaber. 1/10 for you bitch!

Some theatres will dust off the old Rocky Horror Picture Show, I attended a screening when I was around 14 or 15 year old. Of course the movie sucked and it’s about a singing nipple twisting Franken-Queer on LSD or whatever, I don’t know. I never paid attention to the story and never really bothered, it’s people attending it and shooting each other with Supersoakers, flying rolls of bathroom tissue and thrash dancing in the front of the screen that made it so fun and famous. Saw II is opening today and there’s always the rental classics like; Halloween by John Carpenter, the Nightmare Before Christmas from Tim Burton, The Crow, Evil Dead the list could go on forever but you get the point, if you don’t well fuck, go try some stainless steel barbed wire dental floss no need to write back to tell us how it feel.

I will probably go out in the old Montreal to attend what they call La Grande Mascarade. Hopefully I won’t come across a girl dressed as Jar Jar Bink and her hamster pet dressed as Emperor Palpatine or I believe it’s going to be chainsaw time again. Chop! Chop!

Happy & Safe Stalking everyone.

Sometime life is about a yellow shark named Something, being happy and trying to get back the keg that some poor motherfucker stole away from you. Sometime it is about being with your most precious thing and soaking / giving all the love you can. Although, at some point, it is all about not getting lost, not to lose yourself, not to drown trying to get you shit together and just move forward.

Sometimes it can be hard you know because not everyone got their generic 3rd degree burned physically disabled blind bamboo flute playing toes painting Morgan Freeman in their life’s to spoon feed them the movie life grand message and spam fortune cookie bits of wisdom like it is the next revolutionary penis enlargement patch, that would probably be award material for ‘Best same character played over and over since Shawshank Redemption’ category though. In those times it feels good to have either friends or booze or both, because it works awesome when mixed together. But when the fan really hit the shit, when all the world’s fucktards are on your back, when all the lights black out and you can’t fucking Mighty Morph your way out of trouble, there is nothing like knowing that your side kick stands by your side. Here is a drawing for my angel because seriously sometimes no matter how badass I look, I just need a fucking hug.

To quote a MDC song; Sometimes you’re happy sometimes you don’t but ain’t it funny how it all works out.

Autumn is there. I don’t know exactly how the hell it got there but in the space of a weekend BANG! The temperature dropped to the ground, it rained all the time and the days got shorter. I shook my head in amazement, it must have sneaked behind my back or some shit because last week I was still discussing with Cassie about wearing flip-flops and whatnot surfer shit. Now the trees are getting new colours, leaves are falling and dancing in the breeze. I checked my calendar in denial only to find out we are 2 weeks away from Halloween. Fuck. Not that I hate Autumn, actually I like the season of the dead, but I like summer more so I guess it makes the mourning a bit harder. Ah well, I guess it’s time to get naked and hold my girl tight under warm sheets and just run wild.

Speaking of my Angel she got back from her homeland yesterday morning. She left last Wednesday and spent the whole Canadian thanksgiving weekend there. I was expecting her to get back yesterday evening and I was getting myself ready to go to work in the morning when I heard the familiar buzzing sound of the door bell. I checked up the front door and there she was with her luggage and shit. She smiled. It was a pleasing surprise, turned out she took the night bus instead of the day one. I missed her so much, I called in sick at work and we spent the whole day under said warm sheets.

I dreamed of a bridge the other day. At one point in the dream I was the guardian the bridge. One end of it was kind if under repairs with wood planks and metal being added, only pedestrians could use it. The middle was looking good like an average bridge in a medium city; nothing spectacular but it could hold lots cars and looked strong. And finally the other end looked really nice and strong much like the Golden Gate.

I dream of bridges often, sometime I play in them, live in them, cross them. None of them looks shitty but some looks better than others. So I decided to do a quick search on the Internet about bridge meanings in dreams. Results vary but most agree that a bridge is a symbol of change, or critical decision in one life. This is what I got from one of the site:

” To dream that you are crossing a bridge, signifies an important decision or a critical junction in your life. This decision will prove to be a positive change with prosperity and wealth in the horizon. Bridges represent a transitional period in your life where you will be moving on to a new stage. “

From my personal interpretation I can only guess and hope that things are looking bright in the future and that I will be fucking pwning! I can only wonder what it would mean if I had dreamed of yogurt instead.