The life of a gemini can be very trying indeed. Things can get extremely bi-polar, and I’m talking external forces here. My sister once got some book, The Big Book of Birthdays or some jazz, and it had some sort of tarot card associated with every day on the calendar. The next time I was sneaking around her room, I took the time to look up my favorite day of the year, June 10th. Lo and behold, my day is linked to the wheel of fortune card and it basically tells me that things in my life will ping-pong between very good and very bad, at a pretty brisk pace and that if I don’t learn to deal with it then I am in some trouble. Up to this point it hasn’t been far off.

Since I have been out of touch after moving and not having home internet access since November and much has happened, let us just take a journey in reverse chronological order.

Now: Trying to move closer to my job, no one to live with, guilt of living for free driving me mental.

Jan-Nov: Work Work Work. Got to see Anna more, banked $$$, many possible living situations discussed.

Holidays: Mondo stress fest of having zero cash, zero presents to give and talking to Dad for the first time after dropping out. Lonely.

December: In a daze, don’t know what to think, life feels surreal. Thrown into a busy kitchen during mad holiday season almost broke me, most kitchen people talk of such occurences the first time you deal with restraunt insanity.

Late November: Show up late to an early presentation at school, decide then and there I can’t take anymore of this bullshit. Jumping through flaming hoops for a proffesion and the intense pressure and stress I would put on myself finally became too much and I just fell apart and knew I was through. It was a descision comparable to when I had to break up with Steph, the damn thing was killing me but I was too stubborn and ashamed to admit defeat. So anyways I book it off campus by 9:30am vowing to (succesfully) never return. By 4:00pm I was at a working interview at the same kitchen one of my best friends works at, and now I am the primo dishwasher guy save for when I am dehydrated at the end of the night at get randomly pissed and start throwing ladels.

Early-Mid November: Anna is finally released from the hospital after 2 months of hell. They are pretty sure the bacteria is gone, but her heart valve will always be somewhat damaged. Thankfully we made it through the whole ugly ordeal sans surgery.

Late October: Finally lose it and flip on Anna’s mom for being the hugest cunt ever, we almost have a fist fight in her hospital room. A very large eastern european, she had the weight but I had the reach. This was the first time I told Anna I loved her, crying as I left her room before her mom came back with security. I meant it.
Early October: My slumlord tries to kick me out for “breaking” the front door lock (it was totally broken, I tried to fix it, but of course he had no idea anything was wrong) and also tries to tell me I agreed that I would only have my girlfriend over on weekends, and not overnight, which is completely unenforceable as well as a dirty lie. I never do find a place to live and I guess you can refer to my last post for more details on that one.

Mid September: Anna’s “mono” takes a turn for the worse and is taken to the hospital where the doctors are baffled for about a week until they come up with Bacterial Endocarditis, a condition where a bacterial lump is growing inside her heart. In her case it was resting on the tricuspid valve on the right side.

Early September: Move into shithole after getting screwed by buddies, start school nervous as fuck knowing at the back of my head that I was letting the monkey climb on my back. The back of my head is always right. Why didn’t evolution put the back in the front?

Now I can assure you there were many good times to balance out at least some of the chaos, but unfortunately those type of things tend not to sit so close to the surface of your memories. No one would really notice if you moisturized your skin occasionally for the past 5 years, but you know damn well that you can spot that horrible past burn victim from clear across the Blockbuster. Same kinda deal. The wheel of fortune. A game of helium balloons and lead weights, my spirit the payload. You tell me which one lasts longer and is more poisonous.

Life can really suck. Bad. Almost lost my mind.
And so I am here, to see my account etched into a random server harddrive somewhere on earth.

The long and short of it is that I have moved back to my hometown after spending 6 months living in the heart of Toronto. I had been living in a shit place for the past two months, a single room with shared kitchen/bathroom, and basically agreed to leave by the end of October. The Land(slum)lord THOUGHT he was kicking me out, but he has no idea about Tenant Law.

A touch of luck has fallen on me though, in this trying time. Due to a lack of human space at my madre’s place, I have been put up in the mainfloor of a semi-detached. 3 Bedrooms to myself! I probably would have just lost my mind had this not happened.

So fear not Gwar! I am also in the not-quite-optimal-but-could-be-worse situation.

Hopefully, in the coming days, I will torment you all with reviews of terrible movies I have been forced to watch or video games I have dropped precious money on. Followed by ranting, poems about pigeons, pictures of dead pigeons, reports of unusual bowel movements, recipes, and maybe even some video aggregation.

Oh and so that this post isn’t completely useless, I leave you with 4 things I will/won’t miss about the city.

I will miss: taking cell phone pictures of dead pigeons, falafel everywhere, cheaper smokes, and living close to my girlfriend.

I WONT miss: the sheer density of dipshits and morons around me, excessively smelly street people (I can only tolerate so much!), living in crackville, being far away from almost all my buddies.

The End