I wonder about the guy I bought my prelude from almost three years ago. He was a young architect on the rise, living in a quaint house with a small family around San Diego State. He took care of Mord. That’s why Mordy’s still going now. I wonder if he ever thinks about Mordy, I wonder if he’d be happy that he’s still going, happy I change his oil every 3000 mi.

A red car called Mordy

I hope he doesn’t think I’m a reckless kid that ran Mordecai into the ground. Maybe he’ll read my book one day and be happy to find I really stretched Mordy’s life out. If I have my way, Mordy will always be around. I’ll fix the leaks and give him a new suspension. He needs a new “H” in the front because some homo stole it. The mark of reliability and economy, the only thing left of Mordy that has retained the youth of the assembly line over the last twenty years- stripped from the old man. I’ll get him a new one. It’ll be real shiny.

I am half deaf in my left ear. That’s true. If you really want to know, the deafness fluctuates; since there is something actually rolling around in my ear, there are moments my hearing improves in an instant- almost magically. It’s usually when I lean forward a bunch and slightly to the left.

Anyway, this hearing loss hasn’t had a great effect on me. There are a couple small annoyances. For one, I always talk on the phone using my right ear, and that gets me thinking about the cell-phone tumor scare going around. I figure the high concentration of cell waves will cause a tumor to form in my right ear, giving me two bad ears.
Also, when I’m in a movie theatre and there is someone on my left who wants to whisper in my ear, I have to turn all the way over so they can talk in my right ear, and that’s a bit awkward, but I do OK.

But now I work in a coffee shop. It’s pretty noisy in there, and when I’m on register, sometimes I have a hard time hearing the barista to my left. So I feel kind of handicapped, my hearing loss now has a real word effect. I’m afraid one day I’ll be asked if I’m deaf, and I’ll have to explain. Then I’ll be handicapped and people will have to go out of there way to make sure I’m OK, and I’ll be an unprofitable burden to the company.

But on the bright side, this makes me think of Rivers Cuomo, my best friend and lead singer of Weezer. He grew up with one leg being a whole inch shorter than the other. He couldn’t afford surgery until he got money from being a famous rock star. Soon after surgery to extend the short leg in ‘94, Weezer’ performed on Letterman. Rivers played and sang “Say it Aint So” cringing in pain all the way in his extra baggy khaki pants to fit around his enormous leg brace.
So, I’ve found another parallel to someone famous who (I spent an hour, seriously an hour on the internet and reading through these English usage books I have, one of them the dictionary, trying to figure out whether I should use “who” or “whom” in that spot) I look up to. I think about how I’m going to get money for my book or movie, whatever it is I end up piecing together, I’ll pay for surgery and perform on Letterman. I’ll have bandages wrapped around head, with blood soaking through from the ear. My performance, whatever it is, won’t be as glorious or entertaining, but maybe people will have the strength to resist changing the channel, even though there aren’t bright lights or fast moving objects to occupy them while I read a passage from my work. Perhaps I’ll read this passage.

All the while I know I guy who is completely deaf in his right ear and I feel like a jerk complaining about the whole thing.

The first Igloolounge.net submission for Threadless.com, based on the Oh Noes! illustration I did for my girlfriend posted a while back here. Send me some love people, show your support to the Igloolounge.net and go vote for the shirt

Looks like the big bad ape is falling for David Hasselhoff. Way to go you giant queer. This one is for Mark Rogers because we all know he loves his Hasselhoff fresh, nude and kinky.

I will probably see the movie this weekend. If anyone saw it yet feel free to comment and spoil the fun for everyone else:

The ape die at the end! You n00bs!

Save me Kong! Save me! EEEEeeeeeeekkkkkkkkk!!!!

I know we don’t talk about myspace in this “high internet” venue. (I just thought of that term, remember to always credit me for it.) But I read something obnoxios by an obnoxious 16 year old kid in a myspace Weezer forum that said that Surf Wax America, off Weezer’s Blue album, is about “90’s slacker hedonism.” This was my response to him:

Wallstreet by Oliver Stone.

I don’t like it when people assign social trends to decades, like what’s his name did about “90’s hedonism.” The 80’s has been labeled the Decade of greed. That’s kind of hedonistic. (Watch the 1986 film, Wallstreet with Martin Sheen and his son Charlie.)

If Surf Wax is about 90’s hedonism, what makes it exclusively 90’s? Climbing the corporate ladder or running the rat race could be seen as hedonistic and selfish just as sloth, or images of sloth, like early 90’s grunge may be interpreted by many “rat racers” as hedonistic and lazy. I think hedonism isn’t the most prevalent theme of that song.

Remember, this is all subjective, but as a 24 year old, I think it’s about actually taking all your elementary teachers’ word for it when they promise you can do whatever you want with your life as long as you work hard enough.

I think Rivers wrote that song angry that once you turn a certain age, those promises about your dreams being made true turn into lectures on taking responsibility and “the real world.” Rivers and his band had people telling them they needed to get real jobs and go to college.

Weezer are all on drugs.

Rivers took his guitar to work. He worked really fucking hard. Really hard. And there were plenty of rat racers runnin around working really hard, and sure, there were plenty of slackers in the nineties I guess, but they weren’t introduced to society in that decade. I don’t think Surf Wax is about 90’s slacker hedonism. I think it’s about saying “fuck you” to the naysayers.

So that was it. That’s how I responded to the kid. Everything I write seems to end with “fuck you.” Everything I write seems the same.

I don’t like 50 Cent. He his just another cookie-cutter marketed product straight out gangsta rap factory that corporate scums are trying to shove down our throat. Unoriginal, tasteless pseudo badass music for alienated consumers. If 50 Cent was a food product he would be the equivalent of an empty potato chips bag.

The legend says that he is the genuine type of ghetto rapper who used to live on the streets, doing time for drug dealing, getting shot 83765287635 million times, blah blah blah. Now that he got rich and didn’t die trying, made friend with Dre and the clique he probably forgot about where he came from because all I see now is a rich egocentric whore. 50 Cent achieved stardom but the ghetto didn’t get no better.

Have a nice day from the Igloolounge you sell-out whore.

50 Cent and Dre taking over the world, one idiot at a time.

Load3r doing a bed jump for the win.

Posted on the Igloolounge for posterity in remembrance of the old Futa days, because Load3r was and will always be the master of the infamous bed jump stunt. Many attempted to copy the style (that pussy, 50 Cent comes to mind) but in the end they all failed miserably because they just fucking suck. Like Christopher Lambert, there can be only one, Bedjumper!

Load3r is missing since April 2005. He was last seen playing World of Warcraft on the Sargeras server with a gay Night Elf warrior character that goes by the name Cutdown. He was last seen wearing a Field Plate Armor of the Gorilla, a pair of Obsidian Greaves and a funny hat while flipping pancakes near Scholomance. He his known for riding a chalupa, leaving runes on the ground and not using Shield Bash.

If you have any information regarding Load3r/Cutdown/Kenneth (what’s the mother fucking frequency?), or know of his whereabouts, please give him a solid kick in the balls and tell him his Futa bitches miss him.

Nosy is full of zeal and angst and I like that.

I went to a concert last night (NOV 12 05,Broken Social Scene ). I knew nothing about any of the indie or whatever you wanna say, lesser known bands that played before Broken Social Scene and I knew nothing about BSS. Everyone there knew it. They hated me for it. They saw me not bobbing my head, and when I did, they knew I was only doing it to appease them.
I began talking to a girl. I guess there was an underlying hope of making out with her, or one of her friends in the near future. I found out she is a lesbian. I’m OK with that because that’s another song off Weezer’s Pinkerton that I can say I can personally relate to now. I tell myself that makes everything OK.

The Vin Diesel madness taking over the World of Warcraft servers.

There has been a lot of talk lately on the Barrens general chat and on the World of Warcraft forums about Vin Diesel who supposedly plays a shaman in the game. The Vin Diesel fad quickly escalated last October into a server wide phenomenon to the point that many posts about Vin Diesel on Blizzard message boards had to be moderated or deleted by the forums admins. The Igloolounge.net is taking a plunge and uncover the origins of the “OMFG!@ Vin Diesel is a Shaman” myth.

The Vin Diesel plays a shaman fad is not really new actually and can be tracked back on some World of Warcraft fan site forums as far as early 2005 with a little bit of Googling skills and link digging. Unfortunately there is no clear evidence as where and how the Vin Diesel fad exploded on the internet, although most trails we followed pointed us to a web site called Random Facts About. The web site appears to be a database of over the top humorous facts about; Mr.T, Chuck Norris and you guessed it Vin Diesel. The way it works is that about everyone can add it’s own fact about Vin Diesel, Chuck Norris or Mr.T and facts are then ranked according to other people votes, a system which resembles Bash.org. Here is a couple of example of random facts about Vin Diesel:

Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.
Vin Diesel played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: “I End Lives.”
Crop circles are Vin’s way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.

This is after digging through the huge database of nearly 4000 facts that we found these two gems:

If Vin Diesel was a Shaman and Tony Danza was a Paladin, Vin Diesel would totally kick Tony Danza’s ass. Unless Danza used his shield and hearthed. Pussy.
Vin Diesel plays World of Warcraft under the alias Din Viesel.

The infamous Learn 2 Play poster on You’re The Man Now Dog.

The last fact is particularly interesting as it is also referred on Ten Ton Hammer, a website about online gaming, in its Friday Vin Diesel Fact. Taken the humorous nature of the Random Fact About web site it is easy to see how the “Vin Diesel plays World of Warcraft under the alias Din Viesel” line found it’s way as a joke in the game and spread like wild fire creating mass hysteria. The craze reached a peak last November and it is now commonly accepted among the World of Warcraft community that Vin Diesel is the patron of the shaman class. This may not be Blizzard Entertainment view on the matter as the forums moderators continue to serial delete most posts about Vin Diesel.

More recently the World of Warcraft Vin Diesel craze also reached You’re The Man Now Dog, and it seems that we wont see the end of the of this Dieselomania soon. The Igloolounge.net couldn’t leave its fans out of the hysteria and present its own spinoff of the learn2play poster. Enjoy.

Edit (14/1/06): Closer examination of the Random Fact About web site teach us that everything all unsurprisingly originated from the Something Awful forums.

After Learn 2 Play and Learn 2 Play 2 - Igloolounge.net proudly presents A Shaman Apart.

The Random Fact About Vin Diesel website can be reached here
Vin Diesel Learn2play poster on You’re The Man Now Dog can be seen here